630 Am JFk
“Usually when I write this blog, I rarely write in real-time. I go to an even, I sleep on it, then write the next day. But for the next few days, while I’m away, I’ll write my thoughts as they happen. It’ll be more honest that way.
As I write this I am sitting at JFK listening to Motley Crue’s ‘All in the Name of Rock and Roll”. It’s appropriate considering I am heading to Patti Johnson’s Groupie Roundtable.
I have been looking forward to this trip since before I purchased my ticket. It isn’t often that I get the opportunity to go to the place I ever really felt at home; California.
However, this trip couldn’t have come at a more perfect time.
What would you say about a guy who flirts with other girls in front of you after all that was said between the two of you? Or a guy who giggles and exchanges numbers right in front of you; an excellent scene in the play ‘I am WAY over you.’
I cried all that night and refused to go to work the next day. I woke up on Friday exhausted, beat, and completely content with staying in bed forever.
But I have never been the one to cry and be broken-hearted over a person, or several people, who never really cared about me in the first place.
So, I got up, dyed my hair, did my nails, finished packing and shrugged, ‘Fuck you too” I thought and went to sleep.
Today I’m going home. I’m heading to the west to see my heroes, my mentors, my friends. I feel amazing and everything seems like a lifetime ago.
No more tears, no more reflecting on the past-Skylar Hope doesn’t do mourning and she certainly doesn’t do sadness.
Bring on my girls, bring on the Jack & tell the boys of rock and roll to get prepared.
Skylar Hope is going home….”
The previous night I had gone to the company happy hour against my better judgment. 99% of me knew it was going to be a bad idea and yet that nagging 1% pushed the idea of going. All day long, I had been flirted with so that 1% was getting hopeful that the majority of my mind was wrong and that I could still have a happy ending.
Not only was the 99% right but that 1% received a beating.
I watched as he flirted and laughed with other girls and all the while I could feel myself getting angrier and more hurt. Finally I had my roommate call me with a fake emergency situation to get me out of there. I cried all the way from the city to my bed that night.
Friday was no better. I couldn’t believe that I had spent the majority of my life completely closed off and the one person I decide to let in had to be a complete asshole. I spent the day getting dolled up and packed as I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album on repeat. I’m positive that it was a sad sight to see.
Then something happened. I can’t tell you what it was because I’m not sure. Saturday morning I woke up and everything was gone. The 1% was gone. The tears had dried up and all my anger at everything had slipped out quietly into the night. I felt back to normal; back to being a free spirit.
Friday night was the last time I thought about that moron; and I haven’t thought about him since.
The calm of the endless sky
9:12 am On the plane
“There are some people who HATE flying. I’m the complete opposite. I am completely in love with flying.
‘When you’re born without wings all you dream of all you want is that feeling of flying.’- Bon Jovi
Well summed up Jon.
I love feeling the moment that the wheels get sucking into the plane’s interior and that very first second when you’re in the air. I adore looking out the window and seeing everything and everyone below getting smaller and smaller. It seems almost comical that something or someone the size of an ant could cause any dent in this girl’s armor.
Currently I’m in the second phase of the flying experience; the complete calm.
Outside the sun seems brighter than it ever shines in New York. down below I can see hills and tiny homes of people who are, no doubt, just waking up.
If I could keep this complete calm I would. It would be nice to bottle it up and keep it on hand for dramatic emergencies. Everything is perfect and seemingly untouched from up here.
The last phase is about three or four hours away. It’s the rush of lowering altitudes, the bumpy landing & the sudden need to jump out of my seat and have the party start.
I made a special playlist for my weekend of debauchery and my other half search. It’s just a ‘I am who I am’ playlist. With the exception of a few tracks like the current one playing; ‘Bigger’ by the Backstreet Boys. I always like to have them playing during the calm portion of my flight.
I’m not exactly sure of what’s happening tonight besides Halloween bar hopping so I only have three things on my agenda as soon as I land….
Let Lexa know I’ve landed.
Get In and Our Burger. I haven’t had it in over a year and intend on having it for breakfast lunch and dinner.
Buying a bottle of Jack. I’m staying on the Sunset Strip within walking distance of the Whiskey A Go Go. If i didn’t have my bottle, crank up Motley and attach the top to my mouth the moment of check in, I’d be a lousy groupie wouldn’t I?
Just as the plane was landing at LAX, “Home Sweet Home” by Motley Crue began to play and I immediately had this rush of overwhelming happiness. Even the airport had this welcoming feel; “Leave your problems behind. You’re a California girl at heart”
Now, I’ve had this one tradition that I have yet to break EVERYTIME I stay in a hotel. I enter the room, close the door, squeal like a 2-year-old and jump on the bed like a five-year old. If you ever want to have an instant way of making yourself feel like your still an innocent kid, jump on the bed.
In and Out burger's menu
I ended up doing everything on my list. I walked 45 minutes to the nearest In and Out burger and nearly cried with joy during the whole experience. I bought my bottle of Jack at Duane Reade! Really!
I also fell in love about 12 times JUST for my walk to the burger joint. Every guy on the sunset strip seems to be a musician. The guys all walk down the street with guitars on their back, or they walk with this confident air around them bringing normal girls to their knees. I’m absolutely positive that my other half is out there on the west coast. I’m also certain that had I grown up there I would have been married and divorce four times over.
4pm- Hotel Room
Completely full and loving the California sun. Apparently, Patti is having a tattoo party later on tonight. Can’t wait to meet up!
Patti is Patti Johnson. She holds the “Groupie Roundtable” every year and EVERY YEAR a few new faces get to be welcomed by a warm smile, sweet words and LOTS of hugs by Patti. I actually began speaking with Patti through Julia Nine; another groupie who fell in love and lived on the Sunset Strip when guys like Nikki Sixx and Bret Michaels ruled it. There aren’t enough words to describe how kind and loving these two women are. Julia has been a mentor through many a groupie disaster and Patti has repeated several times that her line is ALWAYS open to me. (an offer that I will use countless times in the upcoming months for a future tour…but more on that later)
Anyway, that night I FINALLY met Patti and Julia in person and was introduced to the great Dee Dee Keel and Patti’s daughter Layla. Dee Dee is another warm-hearted groupie with a smile that could light up a depressed person’s day. Layla; well lets just say that if I had been as cool, confident, pretty and awesome as this girl is when I WAS 16, my life would have been very different. I see wonderful things in her future.
Me, Julia, Dee Dee, Patti, Layla and Aggy in the back
(If you are interested in Dee Dee’s and Patti’s groupie stories, check out “Let’s Spend the Night together” by Pamela Des Barres. They are both featured.)
We headed to the Sunset Strip Tattoo parlor; famous for inking the gorgeous men of rock and roll. I watched in awe as Julia and Patti received matching tatoo’s; something that has now become a yearly tradition. As I witnessed it I thought of how amazing it is to be able to have sisters that you could share something like that with. It basically reinforced what I already knew (and somewhat lost with all the drama of 2010). Your girls, the ones you can completely trust, are your family.
at the whiskey
Afterwards we went to the famous Whiskey A Go Go where I posed by backstage doors and a picture of Vince Neil. Even though I KNOW I am going to get many a comment about what I am about to say, it is the only comparison I can make so pardon if it sounds a bit sacrilegious. Going to the Whiskey for me was the equivalent of a devout catholic getting to see St Patrick’s Cathedral for the first time. You stand out front in complete awe of it and marvel at the history of the building. I really was in complete awe that I was standing in the place that 25 years ago was the starting point for some of my rock and roll men. I even had a glass of Jack to christian the event.
Skylar, vince neil and patti
I ended up getting back to the hotel at around four that morning and waking up at around seven. Even with three hours of sleep I was rested; full of energy. I felt better than I had in MONTHS. I ended up jogging along the strip; watching the sun rise higher in the sky while the warmth completely surrounded me. I walked to the Hollywood walk of fame and bowed down to the stars of the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe. I had been there before but not like that. In reality it’s a tourist trap but to me its a never-ending street of proof that dreams have the possibility of coming true.
at my idol's star
Dressed like Elvis, I attended my first ‘Groupie Roundtable” at the Rainbow Bar and Grill. The roundtable is held every year and is where the women binding by their love of rock and roll, exchange stories of love and music. You know when the Oscar nominations come out and everyone always says “Oh, it’s an honor just to be nominated?” Well, if you get an invite to the roundtable it is an HONOR. Even if you don’t get to attend, it’s still an honor that you are even asked. I met wonderful sisters and heard the most fantastic stories.
The Groupie Roundtable
Here, I also was able to meet Lexa Vonn in person. Lexa has been a groupie since her young teens and has been able to create a free-spirited society that is centered around the love of rock and roll. She calls this society “The Plastics” and it all began with a handful of girls in Los Angeles. Today, “The Plastics” has evolved into different chapters across the world and is highly involved in erasing the stereotypical definition of the word “groupie”. (I, myself, am the head of the New York City chapter) For someone who has been on television and featured in a book, (she is also in “Let’s Spend the Night Together”) she has to be the BIGGEST sweetheart and most down to earth girl a person can ever meet.
Lexa, Tiffany, Cinnamon, and me. AKA different chapters of the Plastics
After dinner, and more than a few drinks, we headed upstairs and belted out tunes in true Karaoke fashion. It was nice to let loose and completely be myself as the ladies of rock all cheered on and took pictures. That’s the one thing about my family in California; there isn’t any pretending.
Lexa was kind enough to drive me to Venice Beach and the Santa Monica pier the following day. Venice beach is filled with little shops where you can find almost anything. Rocker boys are replaced by surfer boys but are still just as beautiful here. My heart didn’t stop racing the entire time I was there.
In Santa Monica, the big attraction seems to be the huge ferris wheel. At the very top all you can see is miles of ocean and the sky and the water meet. If you want to know the honest truth, I COMPLETELY believe that is what heaven is. It’s a beautiful view and the feeling of absolute peace and tranquility. Almost like being on that plane except the feeling of the wind gives you the illusion your invincible.
That night was the first time I had ever been on a trip that I didn’t cry hysterically because I had to go back to New York. I hate everything about this city; the people, the subways, the memories of things I’m forced into thinking about. Yet, I didn’t cry. Maybe it was because I had something to look forward to. Afterall, Lexa and I discussed the direction she wanted “The Plastics” to take and I volunteered to help in any way I could. Maybe it was because I knew that it wouldn’t be too long before I was back home on the Sunset Strip.
Truthfully, it came to me the next day as I had a tearful goodbye with Patti.
For the first time since the drama of 2010 began, I didn’t feel all alone. I didn’t care about the betrayals of former friends because I’ve gained SO many more friends that are FAMILY. I didn’t care about the guy who has been a consistent moron since the start of the summer because California is just filled with potential soul mates. I didn’t have to pretend to be this person to gain anyone’s approval because my family out there, my gals in New York, my PATIENT guy friends; the all accept me for me and THAT’S what I should have been focusing on all along.
I’m not the girl who files and answers phones while pining away for someone who should have been long forgotten.
I’m the writer who has become so passionate about life that her “desk job” just makes her appreciate her adventures that much more.
I’m not the girl who let’s people step all over her and sits in dark corners waiting for her turn.
I’m the girl who jumps on stage to belt out “I love rock and roll.”
I’m certainly not the girl who is all by herself in a crazy mixed up world.
I’m the girl who has family all over the world and I am BEYOND in love with each of them.
So, in conclusion, California was more than a vacation; a groupie adventure. It was a HUGE wake up call from, what seemed to be, an ever going nightmare.