My Other Half Isn’t…Someone Who Is Creepy

Well, apparently the days of meeting someone in a random romantic way are over.  Ladies and gentleman, I am officially apart of the online dating world. 

Yesterday I joined Match.com and okcupid and I have to tell you, I’m kind of creeped out.  First of all why would a male want to date a female who is more than 20 years younger that he is.  Granted, I know I may have daddy issues but I refuse to work them out by dating a guy who would have more in common with my father than me. 

Also, I’ve come to the conclusion I watch WAY too much ID discovery.  For those of you that don’t know ID discovery is a channel on cable that does nothing but show programs about murders and serial killers and the occasional kidnapping. 

So when I see a photo of a guy whose smile is really big and his eyes are open really wide, somehow I come to the conclusion that he must drive a van and circle the neighborhood for random children.

What is up with the “can you send me more pictures”?  Perhaps if you read my profile and emailed me with an actually conversation to get to know me, THEN you could see me in person and there wouldn’t be any need for more pictures.

Goodness…sometimes my paranoia about things even amaze me. 🙂

Anyway, it’s only been a day and there are a few potential people on there so maybe this isn’t a waste of 75 bucks. I saw a comment below about online dating and a happy ending so that’s giving me hope.

On a side note, I’ve been reading a lot of the comments that you guys leave me and some of them really do get me thinking. 

One comment stated that it seems like I’ve been searching for something for a long time.  A few others keep telling me not to go searching for this guy, but to find myself instead.

When I think honestly about it, it occurs to me that this search is probably to find the ultimate happiness and find where I belong.  Now, I’m not saying that another person should do that for me.

What I am saying is that this search is opening a whole new world for me and making me try things that I’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done for various reasons.  For example, I went to school for journalism and do to the economy dropping out and my school loan that had to be paid, I had to start working in an office and forget about that writing career.

Then when I thought about writing on the side it was always, “I don’t have time” or “I’m too tired”.

Now, I MAKE the time to sit and update this blog because it’s fun for me.  Plus the encouraging comments, kind words, and constructive criticisms really do help me stick with it.  It’s been a long time that I’ve stuck with anything.

Another example is traveling to places that I’ve always wanted to go.  Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to go some place but never did because my friends didn’t want to go there?  It seems that for the past few years I’ve been all about everyone else and I haven’t done anything for myself. 

No one wants to go to see Graceland with me, I’ll go alone.  If I want to go to New Orleans and do nothing but study their history and folklore, I will. 

At first this little experiment really did seem as if it was JUST to find that allusive soul mate. 

But now, I think it’s also about living the life I’ve always wanted to and doing it for myself.  I think that once I start living MY life for ME, he’ll be there.

Does any of this make sense? 

Anyway Happy Tuesday to you all! I should be registering for a new class soon and booking my New Orleans trip for my birthday soon. 

This summer is going to be absolutely magical…..

My Other Half Isn’t…Going To Be Stuck At Home This Summer

Its that time again folks.....courtesy of google image search.

The past week has been nothing but, and pardon my language, a cluster fuck.  It is like the majority of people I knew got together and decided to see how far they could push me before I snapped. 

The “Virginia” situation came up again this week and started and all out battle.  (Mind you it’s been a month already) 

My seemingly “normal” status with my coworker has again become awkward after yesterday so that just added to my misery.

I turned down a groupie adventure on the high seas do to a cash flow problem.

Yes, ladies and gents, a definite cluster fuck.

Anyway, last night I began thinking of my little experiment and how my life just seems to be drifting from what it used to be.  Even though I have yet to find this “other half” at concerts, at work, at happy hours,etc  I keep going to the same places and going after the same people.  It’s like beating a dead horse.  What I need is to remove myself from the drama that people have brought to my life and get some new experiences. 

I need to go to new places and meet new people.  The summer has always been my favorite season and it never fails to add some magic into my life. 

With that said, I have composed a list of things to do for the summer.  Hopefully, I’ll gain new friends, have some new NON MUSICIAN adventures and find that other half.

Summer Plans 2010

1. Get my license:  I took drivers ed in high school and never took the road test.  Last summer I finally got my permit again after letting expire and STILL have not taken a lesson.  It’s time to bite the bullet and finish something I started ten years ago.

2.Get my passport: I really want to go to England, Scotland, Ireland, Rome and Australia.  You know what would be SUPER helpful in this?  Getting MY PASSPORT!  I’ve always wanted to have an overseas run away romance with a Gerard Butler type.   My goal is to save the money I would spend on shows and go to one of the above places mid next year.

3. Take guitar lessons:  Before my Grandpa passed away he had told my brother and I that he wanted us to learn how to play at least ONE instrument.  According to him, and he was a very brilliant man, music would open doors to countless friendships.  I think I’ve exhausted the fan road and would like to fulfill that hope he had for me.  After all he did leave me his guitar when he passed on.

4. Go to New Orleans:  I dread my birthday every year.  EVERY year my birthday is ruined my supposed friends, drama and random family issues.  This year I’ve decided that I am leaving everyone behind and going to New Orleans to celebrate my 26th year.  I am absolutely fascinated with ghosts and fortune tellers and I think that going to a place where that is a large part of the culture will do me some good. 

5:Take a dance class:  Once upon a time I actually took three years of tap and fell in love with it.  Any stress I had would be completely forgotten on stage.  I think that maybe learning something new will help me make new friends and give my personality a breath of fresh air.

6: Have a magical all nighter in Manhattan: This one is for when I do find that guy.  If i could spend all night walking around the city with him just talking, I’ll know that it must be serious. 

7: Skylar, meet the boys of eharmoney/match.com:  Yes, it’s that time.  In August I ill officially have ONLY a year to find my other half and since he isn’t anywhere I’ve searched, its time to search a larger area.

8:  Get this blog on Facebook:  The more readers I get out there, the more entertaining I can do and the more of a shot I have at finding this allusive soul mate of mine. 

Any other suggestions folks?  I’ve been reading through all your comments and I appreciate every one!  I am always surprised to get any sort of comment on here.

With that, I’m sure in getting to know me through these posts you guys may have suggestions at what I can do to make this journey a bit more positive. 

Till next time, Happy Friday everyone!

My Other Half Isn’t…A Guy That Can’t Accept My Groupie Ways

A while back my roommate and I were discussing groupies and relationships.  According to him, a groupie wouldn’t make a good girlfriend because she would always be searching for something better.  She wouldn’t have time to get into a relationship because, god forbid, it gets in the way of a tour.  
As a groupie, I HIGHLY disagreed with all the above.  HIGHLY.  I think the problem is that there is this negative connotation of the word that desperately needs to be cleared up. 
A groupie DOES NOT just sleep with musicians.  Repeat after me;  A GROUPIE DOES NOT JUST SLEEP WITH MUSICIANS. 
I’m a groupie and I have yet to sleep with one musician.  I kind of have this rule about not banging someone I don’t know.  As a matter of fact a great deal of my groupie sisters have the same beliefs. 
Groupies like me go to shows for the adventure.  We respect and admire the job that these rock idols do.  More importantly, we go and come back home with these amazing stories that will forever be imprinted on our hearts. 
When I look back and think of all the people I have met through my music obsessions I smile.  
This past weekend I met up with three of my groupie sisters whose friendship I owe to the 5 greatest guys from Boston, New Kids On The Block.  I twitter the two that live overseas and I call and harass the one that lives about six hours away and I love them all to pieces. 
When we went to the NKOTB show on Saturday, there was no arguing about being on time or who wanted to do this or ANY drama WHATSOEVER!!!  It was just pure fun. 

Rocker and I at Radio city

My friendship with my dear Rockergirl reached a new peak when the Backstreet Boys popped up on stage and, even though she wanted to cut her ears off, held me up and took pictures for me because I was too excited to do it.  The little things in friendship mean a lot too. 
Not only did I get to hang out with my sisters, but I made NEW friends as well.  All sweet, all smart and all completely normal.  
Another friend I made because of music is my sister Cat.  There are no words to describe how fabulous this girl is.  We ended up meeting over facebook and now I have another sister to bug on a regular.  This is the girl who decided that she was going to flirt with a prepubescent guard to try to get us into the area where motley crue’s bus was parked.  This is the same girl who spoke to me the night before the Celtics Club fiasco and undid the damage that another friend of mine caused.  
I am even lucky enough to keep in touch with a groupie who spent the 80’s on the sunset strip and got to be on Motley’s tour bus after a show.  Julia is my hero and is an example that you can have the adventurous life while married with a  kid.  I consider her a groupie mom.  
Aside from friends, I’ve gotten to go to on all different kinds of adventures.  I’ve been to Vegas, I’ve walked along the sunset strip and took pictures in front of the famed Whiskey.  I went on a three-day tour with my girls to meet New Kids On the Block.  I ended up going to Michigan for a concert.  Those are all memories that I wouldn’t trade in for the whole world. 

Look, I’m not saying that it’s easy keeping the balance.  I’m not even saying that I don’t get why a guy would raise an eyebrow and wonder when he’s going to see me. 

However, I know that if a guy means that much to me I am going to be sure to MAKE the time.  I may even include him if he wants to see how excited his girlfriend gets to hang out with her friends.  

I’m not even saying that eventually I wont get tired of this.  Every once in a while I see me losing passion for certain shows/adventures.  

What I am saying though is that any guy who does fall for me has to understand that the “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” visions that they have with the word groupie is a myth.  When it comes to this groupie, it is all about her sisters, the music and seeing places that she probably wouldn’t have seen otherwise.

My Other Half Isn’t….A Sports Fanatic

The Celtics/Laker game ruined my mojo on Tuesday night. 

When I say ruined I mean utterly killed, destroyed and pulverized my opportunity to flirt mercilessly with a gorgeous musician.

With that said, I never want to see a basketball game again.  I don’t want to hear the word “basketball” and I don’t want to hear the whining by Celtics fans and the celebrations of the Lakers’ fans.

On Tuesday I decided to go to this concert with a friend of mine in hopes to have some fun.  I have had utterly bad luck when it comes to this particular band so when I meet them it is with caution and I never really expect much.  Fate, apparently, was feeling bored that day and decided to get my hopes up anyway.

As luck would have it an old friend of mine messaged me the previous night and asked if I was going to the show.  The reason he wanted to know was to see if I wanted him to hook me up because he’s friends with one of the band. 

Once again, I didn’t get my hopes up but kept it in mind.  I arrived at the after party only to be told to go to the VIP area where my friend and my musical crush were hanging out.

Everything was going well at first; I was mingling and staying away from my target.  The butterflies were dancing in my stomach, my hands were shaking and my knees were marshmallows.  Finally I just asked my friend to introduce us.

I should mention that while I was mingling, this hottie musician was starring at the TV screen like his life depended on it.  Half naked girls surrounded him the entire night and he was watching the game like it was a porn marathon. 

Well, my dear friend introduces me to the guy I have had a crush on for AGES.  I shook his hand and smiled, direct eye contact, great posture…all the things you learn from an episode of “Tough Love”.

He looked me  up and down, gave me the famous half-smile, and told me it was nice to meet me.  Our eyes met, my heart pounded and then….

He turned right around and started watching the tv again.

I would have taking it personally had I not seen him blowing off his entire party of this game.  I mean, I get that people have their obsessions but REALLY?!!!!

Afterwards. I thought to myself how a girlfriend would feel if that happened to them.  I spoke to my wonderful friend Catherine about the situation and she told me how her HUSBAND was the same way with this game.  She had thrown herself at him and he replied,

“Babe, could you get off me for a minute. The game is on…”

I do not want a guy who is going to blow me off for a GAME!  If I could talk to you during my Bon Jovi show, Vampire Diaries, or any Robert Pattinson interview, YOU could pay attention to me during a game that YOU aren’t even playing in. 

In conclusion, thank you to the night club Ultra 88, the Celtics, the Lakers, and the sick sense of humor of Fate; you all suck.

My Other Half Isnt…Any Guy Who Has Done the Below…

My mother always told me that if it looked really good on the outside, it was probably used ten times over.

I really wish she was talking about clothes, or books, or some other inanimate object that I would be in no danger of falling for.  Unfortunately, she was talking about the male species.

I’ve always kept this advice in mine; even if it was deep in the depths of my mind behind chemistry symbols and rules for solving algebraic equations.

This rule was never as apparent as it was this weekend.

In previous posts I have already admitted my deep weakness for musicians.  (If there were a rehab for girls who melted at the sight of a guitar I would readily volunteer to go).

I attended a concert and met up with a friend who gave me details on one of the band members.  For privacy sake I won’t mention the band OR the musician who this refers to. (I suspect that a large percentage of males, musician or not, have done the things this particular individual has).

ANY guy who has ever kept a black book with the names of girls he has slept with has a problem.  Why?  Well, he actually has enough names to FILL that book.

If that weren’t bad enough, the ratings beside each name is enough to get a girl completely nauseous.  Really?  A rating on sexual performance?  What ever happened to concentrating on what really matters?

Personality, humor, intelligence; I suppose it doesn’t matter if she’s double jointed and had her tonsils removed when she was eight.

Moving on…

It is also not okay to be in a committed relationship and have about twelve other committed relationships on the side.

I have enough trouble remembering not to call my friend’s the wrong name so how can a guy keep all these girl’s straight.

As I said previously, honestly means a great deal to a woman.  With that said, if a guy is saying the same thing to every girl he meets just to get laid, he isn’t worth much.

Don’t tell me I’m the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen if it isn’t true.  Don’t say you are going to call and have me waiting by the phone for three weeks wondering what I did wrong.

For all males that may be reading this post; SEX MEANS SOMETHING TO MOST WOMEN!

Keep that in mind when you use those romantic lines you pull from movies to get her into bed.

Also a guy who has sex with a girl, and then before she even has a chance to  de-tangle  herself from his panting body, tells her thanks and kicks her out of his house/room/car deserves to have his favorite appendage removed.

The saying goes, “A gentleman never kisses and tells”.

There should be another saying that goes, “A whore will stick it into whatever comes his way then announce it to whatever ears are willing to listen.”

The bottom line is that any guy who has done ANY of these things is just an insecure little boy who never grew up.  It’s pathetic, it’s sad and any girl with self-respect would stay as far away from a guy like this.

Whether he be a musician, your gardener, your local barista from Starbucks or the guy who hands out the mail at your job, he isn’t worth the napkin you wrote your number on.

Maybe all guys go through a period of being a complete dirt bag.  Yes, people can change.

That fact is ONLY worth something if that guy is willing and WANTS to change.  BUT, if he is over a certain age and still doing anything in a skirt, maybe it’s time to admit that Prince Charming isn’t living in the depths of his soul.

My Other Half Isn’t….Someone Who Can’t Admit When He’s Wrong

Ahh, the power of a heartfelt apology.

Before I begin to explain the mess I got myself into this weekend I would just like to put out that I am not big on apologies.

As awful as this sounds, I hate admitting I am wrong.  My apologies are usually along the lines of, “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry that you can’t see beyond your point of view.”

Apologies, IF they are meaningful, really aren’t the easiest thing to say.  Admitting you are/were wrong about something makes you completely vulnerable.  From previous posts we have already dissected how difficult it is for me to be vulnerable. 

This is why when other people give me an apology, I take it seriously because I know that it isn’t easy.  A person earns a lot of my respect by admitting they were wrong.

Alright, here is the story;

On Saturday I was invited to a work bbq at my coworker’s home.  The same coworker who I wrote about on a previous post.

At first it was incredibly awkward and I spent the entire first 20 minutes wondering why I even came.  It is a very bad habit of mine to put myself into situations where I KNOW I am going to be uncomfortable.

To make a very long story short, as the evening progressed he pulled me aside and apologized for being such a jerk the past few weeks.  Instead of picking up where we left off (wherever that exactly was, I’ll never know) we agreed to start off with a clean slate. 

Translation; friends so he can prove that he isn’t a jerk and just baby steps to anything more…if it turns into that.

Yes, there were a few kisses goodnight….okay more than a few BUT we both agreed that come Monday it is back to square one.

Which, it was and the Queen of the Nerds is back.  I walked into the elevator door on Monday, managed to jam the copier to a horrific state and spent 15 minutes on how to reply to an email he sent that had two words…

“Hey buddy…”

While my clumsy self has come back in full force, I am happy to say that Fort Knox wall isn’t completely up anymore.  It’s a little lower, with a ladder against it, just in case he wants to take a peek.

My Other Half Isnt…A Person Who Think That Birds Of A Feather Stick Together

I can not STRESS that enough.

For as long back as I remember I have always been warned to watch out for the company I keep.  If you hang out with a slut, you’re going to be considered a slut.  If you hang out with a heroin addict, people are going to assume that you carry around needles in your  purse. 

I am the exception to that rule and it has never been more obvious than this past weekend.

For the big Memorial Day weekend, I traveled with a group of my friends to Virginia.  Originally the plan was for three days of sun, surf, over eating, drinking and most importantly FUN!!!!

In three days, I probably had 10% fun and 90% regretful thoughts of even coming.

I don’t know what it is about having a schedule and sticking to it that irks people so much.  I am all for being spontaneous but I also realize that for big trips like this, you have to considerate of everyone elses schedule.  Therefore, when one of my friends decided to change the time of departure from 9 p.m to 8:30, then to 8pm and then at 1 tha afternoon informed me to be ready at 7:30, I was a bit ticked off.

That’s just one example of how the “birds’ rule doesn’t apply to me.  I don’t believe in changing my mind every two seconds when planning a trip for six people.

I also do not understand the drama that being on time causes.  Out of my closest friends I am the one that is ALWAYS on time.  (To be fair ONE of my other friends is big on being on time too and get’s even more aggravated than I do about people being late.)

Anyway, 2 in the afternoon doesn’t mean 5 in the afternoon and a few minutes doesn’t mean an hour. 

This drama was my personal favorite of the weekend.  If something or someone annoys me, I do not take it out on anyone else but the thing/person that caused it.  I am not going to take it out on everyone and ruin everyone else’s trip.  That isn’t my idea of maturity. 

Now I realize that my friends and I have a great deal in common and I adore them all.  The problem is that an outsider wouldn’t always see that. 

If a guy were to observe my friends and I during our random “game nights”, he would think that I was fun, sweet, and humourous because my friends were acting that way at that moment.

Had another guy witnessed this weekend, he would have thought that I was a moody princess who didn’t own a watch.  It was an off weekend for us as a crew.

Even if my other half WAS in Virginia this weekend, I wouldn’t have noticed anyway and I’m pretty sure he would have been completely turned off by the way my flock was behaving anyway.

My point is that my other half wouldn’t judge who I am by who I hang out with.  That requirement is non negotiable.

My Other Half Isnt…Jon Bon Jovi

But wouldn’t it just be AMAZING if he was.

One of the 100 pictures i took of Jon on 5/26/2010

Before you call the men in the white coats, I promise that my concerts last week at the Meadowlands will tie into my search for my future soul mate.

If you’ve read my first entry you probably know that music is a very big part of my life and that any guy I fall for HAS to love me all the more for it.

It would also be helpful if they were just as passionate about music as I am.

This lead me to the idea that, perhaps, he would be somewhere in the audience at the Bon Jovi show.  I could just imagine how wonderful our meeting would be.

Jon’s voice would provide the soundtrack to the meeting between myself and my other half.  Our eyes would meet during “Always” and it would be an amazing story to tell our future kids about.

It didn’t happen on May 26th.

It also didn’t happen on May 27th.

However, I did come across some rather interesting males who had some of the same qualities I would want in a future mate.

Right before the show began, I overheard a man speaking to another gentleman next to him.  He was saying how he was spending his anniversary with Bon Jovi and laughed.  When the man celebrating was asked why he was here, he said that it was because it meant the world to his wife and it was the perfect gift for her.

During the conversation, all I kept thinking was how sweet it was that this guy would sit through his wife lusting after someone else, JUST to make her happy.  In a world where everything seems to be about the individual, it was nice to hear that someone knew that their happiness wasn’t the most important.

At the end of the day, isn’t that what love is about? Isn’t it about making your significant happy because you WANT to make them happy no matter what?  I understand that a concert may not seem to be a huge sacrifice on the part of this husband, but I’ve come to learn that it is the small things that a man does that show who he is on a day-to-day basis.

There was another concert goer who passed in front of me, holding his wife so she wouldn’t break her neck.  Apparently spending nearly nine dollars on a beer wasn’t too expensive for some fans because this woman was PLASTERED.  Anyway, her husband was holding her up and making sure that no one was bumping into her so she could safely get to the ladies room.

Any guy that would take care of his significant other is a class act in my book.  It’s through the bad times that a person’s character shows.  What better time to show how much of a knight in shining armor you can be than when your love is sick?

At another show I saw two guys with huge 80’s hair band wigs and I immediately fell in love.  No, not with the guy’s themselves but with their sense of humor.  They were such good sports that they even let random people take pictures of them.

On the same humor quality, a man actually began a sing along on the way there. He got a few of us on the train to belt out “Livin on a Prayer”.  Humor and bravery to make a fool of yourself…that’s sexy.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea on earth to try my other half at a Bon Jovi concert.  After all, I do have a tendency to get distracted when my favorite band is around.

On the other hand, it gave me hope that the qualities that I want in that guy, wherever he may be, are really out there.  They aren’t some part of a Disney prince or drummed up by myimagination  It really all exists and maybe, whether it be at a Bon Jovi Concert or at a Starbucks,  I can find him by my deadline.

Next post; my search for THE guy in Virginia over Memorial Day….