My Other Half Isnt….A Mike “The Situation” Wannabe

2 Jul

On Monday I officially joined match.com and I am trying to keep an open mind about this.  According to those commercials, with the happy couples and the cheesy instrumental music in the background, my other half could be waiting on this site.

Maybe he is but I can tell you one thing.  My other half is not one of the MANY guys whose shirtless in their profile picture.

Yes, there are actually guys who think its hot to pose with their shirts off.  Does this really get women to throw emails of affection towards you?  It’s one thing if I’m already dating you and you want to send me a picture that’s fine.  But it is a whole other case when you think you are ‘The Situation” posing on the red carpet and I don’t even know your name.

Also, if you are really trying to look for a committed relationship, why would you post a picture with a drink in your hand and your eyes glazed over?  My personal favorite was a guy that posed with his friend who was PASSED out.  I know when I think husband material I automatically think of the words “Alcoholic” and “Beer Pong King”. 

Its humorous.

My personal favorite is the guys who go on match.com and are completely picky.  One guy actually listed the things you couldn’t have in your profile if you wanted to email him.  Things like “i love to laugh” apparently irked him.  You know what irked me about Mr. “Let me list what’s wrong with you before I get to know you”?  The face that he was SO picky you would think that he was George Clooney.  Well, let me be the first to tell you that George he was NOT.

Oh, and then we have the guys that can’t read.  For an age range I put that I am looking for a guy from 25-30 years old.  I didn’t realize that that age range included 42,51,39,etc etc.  Some people are into older guys and that’s fine.  But if I were into older guys that were that age, I wouldn’t have limited the age to 30.  This just goes to show they are looking at the picture and NOT the profile.  That is probably more annoying than Mr Picky, Mr. I have a six-pack so let me show it off and Mr. Let me show you how to funnel vodka.

Also the usernames these people have is ridiculous.  Iamsexy99 is NOT sexy.  Also with a username like that you better make sure you look like Gerard Butler.  You don’t?  Then I suggest NOT using that as a username.  It just gets worse with Guy4U and McLovin’. 

If the usernames weren’t bad enough the headlines are cringe worthy.  Do you know that someone actually put, “Young, Good Looking and Rich”.  Granted, its attention-getting but any guy who has to mention his bank account within the first five seconds of you seeing them is tacky. 

Before you guys start raising eyebrows and accusing me of being too picky, let me just note that I have sent out a few “winks” and emails to potential dates.  I am genuinely trying.  I also knew that it wouldn’t be easy but I also didn’t think that I would have more jokes than promising leads.  This is just a sad situation.

Anyway, ill keep you guys posted.  It’s the July 4th weekend and  I will be spending Saturday at the beach and my night watching Eclipse.  Even though the nice guys in my real life turn into confusing morons, its nice to know you can depend on a romantic vampire to entertain you.

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3 Responses to “My Other Half Isnt….A Mike “The Situation” Wannabe”

  1. Mona July 2, 2010 at 4:31 pm #

    I Matched it out for a while and it was very interesting, to say the least. I remember reading a book review in the discontinued JANE magazine about a woman who tried something new in her dating life. She figured she had always dated the same type of men so she wrote a book about her adventures in dating. She planned to date all men who asked her out on a date. He could be homeless, rich, handsome, stomach turning, unemployed, over employed, short, tall, fat, thin, green, red, etc…. I never read the book but I went balls to the walls when I joined Match and went on dates with every and anyone who asked me out. It was interesting to say the least. My dates included attending an art gallery opening party, major league sporting events, car shows, a Star Wars convention and riding around on a public bus for several hours. Needless to say I’m in a relationship with someone who I always knew I’d be with, but the Match.com experience was fun.

    You never know what you’re missing until it’s in front of you.

    PS: I loathe the Jersey Shore, but the nickname ‘The Situation’ is clever as hell.

  2. cristinmcgrath July 5, 2010 at 11:39 pm #

    Love it. I just spent the weekend with a “Match Man,” if you will. Fabulous. Good luck, can’t wait to hear the updates!

  3. Fei July 8, 2010 at 5:24 am #

    i am curious to see how match.com works for you! i’ve never done anything like that but its always seemed like fun. I really like your blog!
    check mine out at
    http://heyyxfeii.blogspot.com/
    =]]

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