My Other Half Isnt…My 18 Year Old Self’s Dream Guy

25 May

I can sit and complain about how single is the direct cause of a man’s asinine ways.

95% of the time that is true.  complete, whole heartedly and without a doubt true.

That is a huge thing for me to admit.  A year ago it would have been 100%.

I contribute the other 5% to my younger self’s ability to be super selective.  I was selective to a downfall.  When I tell you that Prince Charming could escape a fairytale and knock on my door and not be good enough, it isn’t an exaggeration..

At 18, this was my list of requirements for any guy who wanted to even say HELLO to me:

1. Light Eyes                                                  7. Lives alone                                                         13. Travels a lot

2. Smart but not TOO smart                    8. Loves the beach                                               14. Loves Sports

3. An older brother                                     9. Makes me Laugh                                            15. Is big on music

4. Dysfunctional                                         10. Never asks questions about my life        16. Writes poetry/songs

5. Plays an instrument                             11. Only wears jeans and a tee-shirt.             17. Believes Ice Cream’s a breakfast food

6. Burps the alphabet                               12. Must come from a large family                 18. ADORES KIDS

This was my ideal when I was dumb enough to believe that he existed.  I’ve only met one person who fit into nearly everything above but a number 20 has to be added. “Has to be the BIGGEST whore that ever lived”.

The “Perfect Guy” doesn’t exist BUT I do think that the perfect guy for each person does.

While my list has changed from my teen years, some parts have stayed the same.  For example, any guy I date HAS to make me laugh.  Laughter is a cure-all and I couldn’t imagine dating anyone who doesn’t believe that a smile can brighten a room.  Also, he still has to adore kids because one day I hope to be a mom.  Not just a mom of one but a mom of four so it is important that he loves kids just as much as I do.

Does he have to play an instrument?  It would be nice but it isn’t a requirement.  (he may never know how to play a note but he could kick ass at guitar hero)

Being dysfunctional isn’t a turn on anymore.  I am way too old and have way too many issues of my own to get caught up in his.  The days of me wanting to “save” someone are long behind me.

He still needs to love the beach but he doesn’t need to travel a lot.  The desire to WANT to travel is enough; especially in this economy.

The most important thing of all, which was never mentioned in my list above, was that whoever he may be he has to love me FOR ME.  This guy needs to be able to look at all my faults and kooky behavior and love me all the more for it.  He has to accept me for me because I accept me for me.  It took me a long time to love who I am and I can’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t.

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3 Responses to “My Other Half Isnt…My 18 Year Old Self’s Dream Guy”

  1. King Curtis June 13, 2010 at 6:08 am #

    Very interesting thoughts. Many women do not actual look at themselves like you did.

  2. kiwidutch September 2, 2010 at 3:25 pm #

    Good on you for realising that life is less about “wish lists” and more about practical reality. The guy who is perfect for you WILL have strengths and weaknesses, just as you have strengths and weaknesses. If you can compliment each other and balance the two out between you then well and good, if not, then you will have to find ways to deal with the shared weaknesses. You will never find someone who is everything on your list and as you get older your list will change more and more. That happens as you, yourself change, experience life and meet different people.
    I married a Mr Imperfect, and guess what? it’s a perfect match as I’m Mrs Imperfect LOL.

    • Skylar Hope September 3, 2010 at 4:07 pm #

      LOL! Love it!

      Honestly, that’s the most anyone could ask for; someone who loves you for everything you are and loves you more for the mess you make with everything you aren’t.

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